The Unhealed Healed

On my journey to rediscover myself, uncover lost truths, and find peace, I encountered the unhealed healed. I will define them briefly as the person who believes they are healed but are anything but. In their mind, they have unveiled life’s mysteries, sunk their teeth into its bitter reality and found the equivalent of the fountain of youth in spiritual terms. Because of their conviction, they believe they are the arbiter of the healed. As the authority on how to find eternal peace, they peddle and proselytize their opinions as solutions and call them facts. The problem with their “facts” is that spiritual enlightenment is not as simple as a spa treatment or a relaxing day at the beach. It is the undoing of everything you once believed you are, were, and have become.

In rehab they make a point to ask you the following question: Who are you? When I first attempted to answer this question, I thought of my accomplishments, my talents, my material possessions, and my relationships. None of these were the correct answers. Who I am is not a daughter, a sister, a former entertainment executive, corporate title or accolade. I am not even a swimmer or a martial artist. So, who am I? As I dove deeper into this eye-opening exercise, I quickly learned the correct answers hid behind facades my ego had created every time it tried to make me feel better about the external validation I had unknowingly come to seek. They were also buried beneath the internal and external armor I had built to protect myself from all the unwanted pain and failure I believed defined me. It took me awhile to peel back the layers. I removed each item like an article of clothing while meticulously studying it from every angle. Not a swimmer – hmmm. But I’ve won awards? That’s what I do. I’m good at it. Okay so I am not even a writer? But I wrote a book. Nope. So, what about a businesswoman? Yah. Not that either. Spirituality is like religion. You don’t go to church or temple once and claim you are devout. It is a practice. Whether you are physically in your temple of worship or not, the goal is to adhere to the principles taught. It is not quick. It is not sexy. And it is not easy. Like everything else, it requires devotion, dedication, and the willingness to fail miserably in order to excel and get it just right. There is no perfect. There is only where you are and where you know you can be.

As someone who practices spirituality in an effort to be the best person I can be and more importantly to shed the trauma, transmute the hurt, and emit unconditional love for myself and others, I am constantly learning how I want to appear in this world. This has helped me answer the question of who I am. I am kind, not nice, but kind. I am unapologetically honest. I am authentically myself with room for growth. I am no longer a people pleaser. I love humanity but people, not so much. I am sarcastic and playful but also deep like the ocean. I loathe surface conversations and love being by myself.

When we stop trying to list our talents and accomplishments, who we want the world to see us as, we become human just like everyone else. We become the stripped-down, beautiful versions of ourselves. Our greatest gifts are intrinsic, not material.

It’s a fool’s errand thinking our answers can be found in someone else’s opinions. If there is one thing I can share that I have learned, it is that you have all the answers you need. You may not have them all right now, but you will have them. They will come to you in divine time. They will brighten your dark world just when you need them. Do not be fooled by the unhealed healed. The one trading spirituality for fame and calling it enlightenment. Their parlor tricks are just that. If you really want to know who you are, ask yourself.